Make it easy for yourself – hand out roles

May 22, 2010 // 2 Comments »

Heeey guys!

I’ve been lazy. So lazy. For days I’ve been thinking of writing a new article her. After all I have promised several posts a week…my bad. I’ve been busy these days. No excuse, I know. But I still love you, and I hope you still love me too But you can start calling me lazy boy. Just remember that by doing that you’re giving me a role I will most likely live up to. I recommend that you rather give me compliments for blogging often. Makes no sence? Well, keep reading.
This article contains human insight as well as routines. Enjoy!

One day a principle called three of his teachers into his office. Once they were all seated he carried on by telling them that he had been studying their scholastic methods and had concluded that they were the schools absolute best teachers. They were therefore to be given the privilege of teaching the schools most gifted students. The Principle also expected that the grades of these students would rise by 30%. The teachers were told not to share this with anyone else, because of the fear for discrimination lawsuits. The teachers were extremely excited. Who wouldn’t be excited by the thought of teaching the brightest students? At the same time they had been told they were the schools elite teachers, the very best. They were glowing with enthusiasm.

As the year progressed both the teachers and the students were observed. The teachers invested more time in the students then before, were more patient and committed than before. They even helped them after school hours.

The school year ended with the students scoring fantastic results. The grades were on average around 30% higher than the year before, as expected. The scientists who had come-up with the experiment rubbed their hands over the results.

The teachers and students had been randomly drawn. There was nothing extraordinary about the teacher nor the students.

What this all about? Well, the teachers believed that they were the best in their school and that the students they were teaching were the brightest, therefore the teacher now tought with much more commitment and passion then before. It was expected of them to do great things, that they were the best, and they then believed this themselves. Just like that, they had become the best.

This shows how important it is to believe in something. The saying “Belief moves mountains” exists for a reason. Mohammed Ali once said:

“To become a champ, believe you are. If you aren’t a champ, pretend to be”

So if you get a person to believe they posses a skill which they don’t have, that person will generate that skill by pure belief.

We have all been exposed to this. When I was little my parents told a pair of their friends that I was extremely helpful on the home-front, “You are so lucky to have such a helpful young man at your disposal” they said. This was of course not true, I hated it. But I liked this compliment so much that I wanted to live up to it. I started to clean and help around the house. A lot ! Every day after school I did the dishes. This didn’t last forever by the way, but the trend kept on for quite some time.

I have always been the class clown and too passionate and engaged in making people laugh, and thus not talking in class was like saying no to sex. One day my elementary teacher approached me and asked me to stay after hours. I was sure that an oral-rape was imminent for my bad behavior, but what she said was: “Rockstar, the class is very energetic and restless, and trying to maintain order is difficult. They all look up too you because to them you are the class leader and so when you talk they talk. So if you help me keep order, by not talking and making sure they don’t, they won’t because they listen to you. I would be extremely appreciative if you would.”
My teacher was a very clever person, apparently, because of course this was not the case. However I listened to her and swallowed every word, and believed it all. I started taking charge of the class and kept my mouth shut in class. She gave me a role and I jumped into it.

If you tell a person he is stupid, he will eventually succumbed to your statement. If you constantly address how bad behavior a child has I can promise you that if it didn’t behave badly before, it will now. People tend to accept who they are, consciously or unconsciously. Unfortunately people tend to become who others convince them they are, then listen to themselves. The power of knowing this and being able to use it can not be stressed enough.

Give people positive roles, give them roles you wish they had, and before you know it, they accepted the role and transformed.

Here are some examples of how you can use this in the field.

My danish friend Karisma, an incredible PUA, often uses this opener on girls: “You look so positive”. What does this line do? Well, he puts the target in a positive role, which she gladly accepts (who doesn’t want to be perceived as positive) and voila she is open for conversation, even though he is a complete stranger.

I myself have used this one to go from opening to general conversation:
“You are so nice! I was sure you were one of those arrogant types, like most of the females around here. Most people are terrified by the though of engaging in conversation with a complete stranger, but not you. the world would be such a happy place if there were more positive people like us.”

I often hand out “compliment-roles”/cold reads (Cold reading – to read a person without knowing anything about them) to ladies (and others) to achieve this effect: -You are so cool! – You are so spontaneous! – You are so adventurous, I like that! – Finally someone with hint of social intelligence, you like meeting new people too.

As a small bonus I will add this golden routine.

This routine can make it so much simpler to F-close (sex) the same night you met and also counters LMR (Last Minute Resistance) plus that it is an awesome cold read that your lady-friend will appreciate. I have used this a lot!

Here it goes:

I have noticed something about you. You have something I like to call a sexual energy. This means you are very free spirited kinda girl. Girls with this sexual energy are generally very playful and funny, not to mention adventurous. Does this sound familiar/ like you? It also means that you don’t have as many inhibitions as most people, you are spontaneous and don’t care what others might think. Also you like sex. This means you are a healthy girl. Now don’t get all boastful by this compliment, but it is a hell of trait to posses.

If she doesn’t posses these characteristics she will surely work to achieve them.

Example of how powerful this is: A lady flew from Norway to the Netherlands to meet me a week after I opened her online. Complimenting how spontaneous and adventurous a girl is can accomplish wonders for your game and this cold read is one of the tools you can use. On its own of course this cold read accomplishes little, but combined with the rest of your game = GOLD !

Let her work for it though, like asking her if she can handle receiving a real compliment. When she answers yes, tell her you don’t believe her and that you are unsure if you should tell her(open loop). She will start nagging and you can say: Ok, massage my shoulders for a while and if you do a good job I will tell you as long as you don’t get a big head about it. (As Juggler said – don’t give something to a girl without receiving something in return – be a challenge to give her the feeling that she has to work for you/invest in you. By doing this her “victory”, by receiving her end of the bargain, tastes so much better)

You are only a nerd because other people have given you that role. Do you accept it?

Posted in Openers/conversational starters, Routines, Various tips

The worlds best opener (Openers part 5/7)

April 18, 2010 // 2 Comments »

Hey guys…

If you read my last post about opinion openers, I’m sure you have been waiting for this one…

Good news, sir! It’s here

Before we go ahead. I just want to say that to focus too much on openers will be counter productive. If you rely on a canned opener to talk to strangers, you’re not where you want to be. But if you are a newbie, it’s genius to start with canned openers since it makes it easier for you to open and may also help you feel less nervous to approach. If you’re not a newbie but love to try new things, this is for you too.

One more thing … an opener will not give you the girl. The way you open is much more important than what you open with. Remember that about 80 percent of communication between two people is nonverbal. Your body language, your facial expressions, eye contact, your voice, how you feel, it’s extremely important to have this in place. Who you are as a person is what ultimately counts. The point with an opener is to give the woman a chance to talk to you. Give her a good first impression.That being said, some openers are better than others, and you get the best canned opener right now …

Are you excited? Motivated?

How about now?

Rockstar presents…:

The Do you know why you suck? opener.

(Inspired by the guy who inventet GM-style, Nathan S.)

ROCKSTAR: Do you know why you suck? (Push – break rapport)

HB: What? No … (You are guaranteed to get her attention, everybody wants to know why someone think they suck)

ROCKSTAR: Now I’ve been over here for five minutes, and you haven’t even said “Hi” once! * Smile * Are you shy or what? (Cocky funny – Pull + Qualifying)

HB: Yes / No / Haha whatever.

From here you can go straight into qualifying. Example:

ROCKSTAR: Other than being extremely shy, are you a nice and interesting person too?

You can be creative with this too. Are there more girls, you can address the entire group: Do you know why you guys suck??! If a girl passes you, you can grab hold of her (dominant=good) and say: Do you know why you suck? You were just about to walk past me without saying “Hello”! Are you shy or what?

Let me tell you why this opener is the world’s best. It is simply because it communicates all the right things. The opener is a push pull. You are a little cocky, but also funny. You’re very confident if you go around expecting everyone to say “hi” to you, even if it’s a joke on your part, and she understands it. Self-confident and fun. You stand out from the crowd and you test her, not vice versa. Done correctly, this opener will give you instant attraction.

Just try it out guys, it’s my favorite for a reason. Just remember to be serious when you deliver the “Do you know why you suck? I have been standing over there for five minutes and you haven’t even said hello!” – line. Then you smile, so she understands you’re not totally serious. Be confident! Follow it up with anything. To introduce yourself is a good start.

Next post in the opener-series will be about situational openers. This post will give you great tools to open situational. And situational openers are the most natural way to start conversations too, i know you like that. And hey, you will also get a little bonus in the end. The moral is; read my next post!

Much love, Fredrik aka Rockstar.

Posted in Attraction, Openers/conversational starters

Opinion openers (Openers part 4/7)

April 15, 2010 // 1 Comment »

Hey hey hey!

In this circus of openers comes two openers I have used. I must say that I’m no longer a big fan of openers where you ask about women’s opinions on things. The reason for this is that it is not very natural for me. I just don’t care much about what women think about things, like for example who is lying most of women or men. Therefore, this is not natural for me and I’m not me when I ask such questions. So I made me an opener that would entertain me a bit. An opener that is slightly more playful and fits my personality better. When I made this I wanted an opener that was fun and informal at the same time, one that shows that you are a guy who is out on town to have fun and get to know new people.

The opener is field-tested all over the place and can be used in most situations.

There are several versions of this, but the point is to get a little discussion that creates many smiles and lots of imagination.

Introducing the first opener …

Behold … here comes …

The Disney opener!

- Hey guys! Did you read Donald Duck when you were young? Nice! I have a quick question for you(Time constraint). The answer to that question can change my life, so important that you are serious about this(intriguing) …
HB: Yeah, shoot!

- Which one is most handsome; Donald Duck or Mickey Mouse(or the prettiest of Dolly and Minnie)?

HB: Haha, Donald.

- Why?

HB: blah blah

- Thanks, the reason I ask is that we had a discussion about this on a party and the guys managed to find out who is most sexy of Dolly and Minnie, but we could not quite agree on Donald and Mickey. We found out we wanted to have sex with one of the girls and get married with the other (To make her curious. She will most likely ask who the guys agreed upon, which allows you to embroider with a little humor), so if you had to have sex with either Mickey or Donald and marry the other, who would you fuck and who would you marry?

This is the opener. I have included some fun and facts about the Disney characters  that underpins the choices we often end up with.

When the girls are wondering what the guys ended up with, you can talk about this:

Dolly: The girl is hot. She has a bouncing ass / tail. She is a typical pink girl (take a look at her ribbon), very sexual, she don’t even wear underwear. THAT in addition to the fact that she is dominant, cunning and cynical with the guys. Just look at how she treats Donald and Gladstone Gander. She plays with them. She is a player. Therefore, we would fuck her, but we’d never married her. Hot, but a slutty bitch.

Minnie: This girl is wife material. She is very sweet, loyal, she is tough and quite romantic. In the same way that the ladies might want to choose Mickey for a husband because they can drag him along in the ears if he doesn’t behave, we choose Minnie for the same reason * simulate that you do Minnie from behind while holding her ears *. The problem with Minnie is that you must deal with her exhausting girlfriend for the rest of your life; Clarabelle Cow.

Donald: The man is the world’s biggest clod, but he’s also kind of a bad boy.

Mickey: Analytical and smart, catching bad guys, but he becomes boring as soon as he’s with Minnie.

This opener is playful. The mood is festive and high energy flows through the points. The opener can be discussed for a long time if desired. You have shown how cool humor you have, and you get to multithread about sex and relationships between men and women.

And EVERYBODY like Donald & CO, at least the woman of your dreams

The second opener is an opener I’ve been using on day game. It’s a kind of opener I mentioned in the introduction that I do NOT like to use, but still, it’s a very good opener, because it make the girls invest a lot. The con about it, is that it is a lie from beginning to end, but again, it’s only an opener. We don’t open to speak to the girl, but so the girl will have an opportunity to talk with you and get to know you.

With no further ado …

The Gift opener

- Hey! Quick question. I want to buy a gift for a friend of mine, and I have no idea what to buy. I need help. What can a guy get for a girlfriend? What would you have wanted from a male friend?

She will often come with tips that are a little romantic. Like jewelry and other typical girlfriend gifts. Here I’ll continue to lie to get her to invest more and to show her that other women find me attractive.

- Jewellery? Ok, I can’t buy it … it’s a little cruel, you see, a month ago, my girlfriend got drunk and told me she was interested in me … and I just want her as a friend. I don’t want to give her false hope … I can’t have her misinterpret that I like her as anything other than a friend.

Again, it’s just a lie, but it works well because you show that you’re a guy who has friends, which provides social value, you care about your friends, which shows that you are caring, your girlfriend is in love with you , which shows that you are a preselected man. That is a man that other women want. And the girls want what the other girls want, so that’s always an advantage. You have probably noticed that boys with women are more attractive than single guys.

In the next post I’ll give you my favorite opener. I ‘m not kidding, it’s THE WORLDS BEST OPENER!

The opener comes right into your lap in a short amount of time if you keep yourself posted.

There are some who believe that “Hello” is the world’s best opener. I really disagree. A good opener is an opener that makes it easy for you to start a conversation with the girl. The world’s best opener will do this plus it creates instant attraction.

How about that?!

Posted in Openers/conversational starters

Functional openers (Openers part 3/7)

April 3, 2010 // 2 Comments »

Hola Senorita!

These are very simple openers and used for my part, mostly in daygame. That’s because a functional opener is about you needing help with something. Help to know where something is, how to use somethong etc. This is the most natural opener to use at daytime. It is socially acceptable to ask strangers for directions to places or what time it is or when the next tram goes, therefore, people will also help you with this. In other words, you will go under the radar with these ones.

This is easy. Here comes five quick ones I’ve used a lot:

1. Hi! I’m going out to eat tonight and wonder if you know of any good restaurants?

I do not ask about a specific type of restaurant because she might give me a quick answer and I want the woman to invest as much as possible. It gives me namely the ability to be difficult. She says a pizza restaurant, I say that I am not thinking about pizza, but maybe something more towards Asian. Make sure to disagree a bit with her (break rapport). As a transition, you can have fun with hiring her as the new counselor or something, since she gives such great advice (more about this in the post about transitions).

2. Hey, you look like a lady who is known in town! I get a visit from some good friends tonight and thought I’d take them out. Where does it happen tonight? What is the best club to go to? Why?

3. How could I get from A to B?

4. (If something is going on) What happens here?

5. Hi! I have ten minutes to kill … You look creative. Do you have any suggestions on what I can do?

Are there any questions? Ask the ladies!

In the next post comes a funny opinion-opener you can enjoy at the cafes or pubs.

Posted in Openers/conversational starters

The Competition Opener (Openers part 2/7)

April 1, 2010 // 2 Comments »

Welcome to another post about openers

I will share an opener I developed the summer 2008. I number closed 9 / 10 set on day game when I used it. This is a typical canned opener, based on nonsense. In this example, I’m so nice that I will include tips from opening till numberclose. So here you get the opener – the transition – and the close.
Remember that the point of an opening is just to open, to start a conversation. That said, some openeres are better than others. This means that some openers get the ladies to invest more in the interaction, some openers build more attraction than others.

This opener is very good because you get time to display your personality in a playful way AND it makes the girls invest a lot.
Here it gooooes!

Rockstar: Sorry to disturb you girls (To say sorry when you open on the streets is common courtesy and it builds comfort and shows social intelligence), but I have lost an idiotic competition to a buddy of mine and the punishment is to stop completely strangers on the street and make a fool out of myself … can I use you guys for that?

HB: YEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH !!!! (Ok, maybe not always THAT enthusiastic;) but it has happened) What do you have to do?

Here you can choose for yourself what you will do, a lot of crazy things to choose from if one is a little creative. How I did it:

Rockstar: I will either tell a joke or teach you something fun … what do you choose?

HB: Teach us something funny! / Tell the joke!

Rockstar: Okay, cool, but to prove that I actually did this to my friends I must record on my phone that you do not know me (this to make routine credible). So I put on the recorder and ask:  Do you know me, girls? (Comfort building and they invest)

HB: Noooooo

Rockstar: Great. I will teach you The Clapping Game/ thumb war. * teaching them * (Kino + leading = attraction)

Ok, this is the opener. To teach something is the best, because then you get a lot of free opportunities to kino and busting/teasing / break rapport. What I also like to do after I have tought them the clapping game or thumb war, is to compete with them. Let’s see if you can beat me girls. I’ll bet you’ll suck!

We all know girls love competitions

To tell a joke is also great. I recommend telling a joke which last a couple minutes because you then get the chance to show what a cool guy you are through the story and they invest time in you. Always get the girl to invest. It’s also building comfort. They laugh at the joke = comfort. Thing is that I tell a relatively bad joke, but I say in advance that they will have to laugh, otherwise I get the penalty approved and I have to tell one more, until they start laughing, something they will not, cause my jokes suck. I say this to force a laugh out of them, which is funny in itself.

Key to all openers are of course transtition. I will write a post about this later. Hint: Statements.

I often close with a variant of this line:

Rockstar: You are very friendly (give them a role to live up to). I like that (reward, if the vibe is there, I give them a high five too). Most people in Oslo are quite arrogant and boring. Are you always this friendly (qualifying)?

HB: Yes!

Rockstar: (to qualify more; ask if they are cool or something similar) NICE! (Reward) I’ll adopt you. You are my new best friends/BFF! * Reaches out hand * My name is Rockstar! (Comfort) What is the best way to stay in touch?

HB: Facebook / Number

Now it is obviously a factor that we have things like body language and such in order so you will be seen as an alpha and attractive guy. This is not a magic pill, but it gives you shortcuts to show off your fun personality and make the girls trust and like you.

Enjoy it, especially those of you who enjoys day game.

Next post about openers in a couple of days!

Posted in Openers/conversational starters

Openers/Conversational Starters (part 1/7)

March 29, 2010 // 5 Comments »

Hey hey, my fellow cockstars!

You will now get a series of posts about openers( conversational starters). I know I loved to read about openers when I first started out. Like the opener was the most important thing. You could say that it isn’t that important, it’s just an opener. But it is important, because it will influence your first impression. But it is what you make it. A great opener together with the right subcommunication like body language and such can make a women very attracted to you. The wrong opener could make the woman shoot you down ice cold.

As we say over and over again, what you say is not that important, it’s the way you say it. Still, I will give you some of my favorite openers in these posts.

And yes they are great! Of course they are great! You will get all the tools you need to open women right here!

Excited? You should be!

Some people prefer to use canned openers, others like to make them up on the fly.

I’ll give you some of both.

This first post will be about what I call The Natural Opener.

I have done a good deal of interviews with the best Norwegian pick up artists. Lars from a Norwegian pickup company Gode Vibber open women very naturally and that’s why i call it The Natural Opener. This opener is a very low key opener. It’s easy, and might be one of the best ways to open women, cause it’s so genuine and “normal”.

Another great thing about it is that I don’t have to do much work writing this down, just copy paste it right in for you! In Lars own words.

I asked Lars if he had any tips for guys who struggled with their opening game and since he wrote such a great answer I will give you the whole shablang. It’s pure gold.

The Natural Opener
You can open with anything as long as body language, voice, frame and context is good, but to kickstart those who struggle a bit I can dig a little deeper. I have been very active this last year trying to play the social norms to my advantage to minimize the possibilities for rejection, and my experience is that the best way to open, and the best tactic in the initial faze is to make it as easy as possible. “Hi, my name is <name>,” with a smile and to reach out my hand to shake hers. This kind of opener communicates “now we are going to get to know each other”, and is actually quite direct, but at the same time very innocent. A handshake is the official beginning of a conversation, so you “drag” her into a conversation with you. It would be rude of here to reject such an innocent and calibrated approach, and humans don’t like to stand out in a negative way. To further explain the “science” behind this:

A typical “The Game” PUA with 2 minute long openers, card tricks, advanced and time-consuming routines like “The Cube” and others, a way to peacocked style of clothes or other things that make him stand out a lot is more prone to rejections and congruence-test not only because it is socially acceptable for the girl to do it, but it is almost expected that she do it. Humans are, by nature, skeptical to everything that is different, so weirdoes and stand-outs are easy to shoot down and needs a lot of time to feel trust and comfort with. It’s the same with men that are drunk, sleazy, crude, vulgar and escalating way to uncalibrated. Girl are “not allowed” to be loose, or sluts, so no one would react negative if she rejects an stereotypical player or a stereotypical drunk Norwegian out on in a bar. Hun will also feel pressure to herself to reject those kind of people because of social norms and the danger of a slut-stamp.

I myself am a huge fan of a “confident nice guy” approach to girls. Compared to the example above, a guy who “fits in” after the normal standards of society and don’t stand out other then that he is confident and comfortable with the social pressure is harder to reject. To say hi to a girl og reach out your hand confidently, but nice and non-threatening is my favorite approach. Most people, also women, is nice and follow normal courtesy and manners. If she refuses to greet you then not only you, but everybody else, including her, will perceive her as impolite and socially uncalibrated. Its socially unacceptable and goes against all normal courtesy and manner to reject someone who hasn’t done anything “wrong”, someone who hasn’t given her a reason to reject him. You can get a long way by being the least possible “stereotypical pickup guy”. Those who say that most girls are bitchy and get a lot of negative responses are those who open and act in a way that gives the girls permission and reason to be bitchy.

If she shows any signs that she is going to turn around so ask a simple question so that she hears it, she will often feel obliged to answer. If she is about to walk away so talk a bit louder as if you are expecting her to stop and answer/continue the conversation. The questions don’t need to be more complicated then “do you live in the city”, “”are you studying”, “who are you out with” and so on. Normal courtesy and manners dictate that it is rude to interrupt or to walk in the middle of a conversation or a question, and I have noticed a lot of times that this can be exploited to pull them back inn if they are about to walk away. This is the part where strong intention comes in. The one with the strongest intentions will be the winner, that means that if your intention to stop and talk to a girl is stronger then that girls intention to go to the bathroom, to the bar, turn around to her friends and so on, then she will stop and respond to your approach. If I open a girl and she is on her way to leave, she can even tell me to my face that she is going back to her friends table, then I just ignore that sentence and keep on talking with a strong intention to continue the conversation. They stop in their tracks surprisingly often so you can continue, even in the middle of the street, as long as you “behave nicely”, and by that I mean to NOT give her a reason to eject.

This by being “normal” will minimize the chances to be rejected dramatically. I can’t remember the last time I got a negative response to my approach, and I am out every Friday and Saturday night talking to girls. The only things that reject me is bad timing like if she is talking to a friend she haven’t seen for years, if she is difficult positioned like sitting across a table while I am standing(hard to get in contact with), that she has a boyfriend or other external factors that I have no control over whatsoever. Pickup is about to stand out, but you need to stand out in a POSITIVE way, and you don’t need to do much to be considered a better catch than all those drunk monkeys that either throw themselves at the women or don’t even dear to approach them and only stare. By approaching in this way that I have just explained above you will get as much time as possible to show some personality and get her interested enough to keep on talking with you., preferably by getting her attracted to you. This is the best explanation I can make to explain the “be yourself” advice, to make it simple. It is by being your self you will meet women who you like that like you in return.

PS: To be used at getting a good response on your approaches is also the most effective and consistent way to reduce approach anxiety. Lots of good experiences = Used to good responses = Less fear of bad responses.

Ok guys, Lars is extremely reflected, his words are pure gold. I think you can actually bring this post to a goldsmith and get good money for it. If you do though, please give some of the money to Lars and me too. That’s just the fair thing to do you know.

You can read the next post in a couple of days. It’ll be my own Competition Opener.

Yours, Rockstar

Posted in Openers/conversational starters