ROCKSTAR-pickup

Interview with Jordan Harbinger

April 7, 2010

Tags: How to win friends and influence people, Interviews, Jordan Harbinger
Posted in: Interviews of greatness, Jordan Harbinger

Hey Hey you sexy people who like to read my interviews!

Today I have an interesting guy for you.

JORDAN HARBINGER!

If you don’t know about him you should start paying attention in school. The school of pickup that is.

This is what Wikipedia has to say about him:

Jordan Harbinger is a Wall Street lawyer turned Social Dynamics expert. In 2007 Harbinger co-founded The Art of Charm, a New York & Los Angeles based service company specializing in dating coaching for men and women. (…) He currently co-hosts The Art of Charm presents Game On on Sirius XM Satellite Radio.^[5] In addition, he co-hosts a bi-weekly show called the Pickup Podcast with AJ Harbinger.

This guy is very successful, he’s funny, super cool and has a lot to offer. I’m proud to have him right here for you guys. And just so you know, PickUp Podcast gets over 1,000,000 downloads/year!  Sick? I certainly think so!

Let’s get to it, shall we?

How was your life with women before you started with structured game, Jordan?

Before I started with ‘structured game’, so-to-speak, I actually had decent luck with women.  Namely, good-looking, nice girls, chose me to be their boyfriend.  That said, I never had choice with women, and once I was in a relationship, I would allow the girl to take control and I’d became needy, pushing her away from me.  I also had trouble making friends, as I was VERY quiet and shy.

Very quiet and shy no more, huh?

Now, I’ve got confidence like I’ve never dreamed of.  I have no problem making more friends than I can handle, and the networking skills that we’ve developed and teach here at The Art of Charm have skyrocketed our business more than I could hope to explain here.

How would you define your game?

My ‘game’ is super simple and very natural.  What we teach at AoC doesn’t require you to memorize anything and it’s more of a subtractive process (removing insecurities) and not an additive process (adding fake layers to your personality to make you more interesting to women).

You see a girl you’re attracted to in the bar. How would you pick her up?

I’d probably be talking to everyone I cross paths with in the bar and, if I’ve been there before, probably already know the bartender and other staff so may well be chatting with them as well.  Most of the time, women notice my presence in the bar and are drawn to it.  I tend to be pretty boisterous and charismatic due to having taught this stuff for so long, and often the women will come near me hoping I’ll talk to them.  If they don’t, I’ll simply carry on talking to everyone until she makes eye contact or comes my way.  If for some reason she’s not giving me any attention, I might just come right up to her and her friends and introduce myself or include them on my banter with others.  I essentially become so social that I can’t be ignored.  haha

Do you have a favorite technique or routine you use more then others?

Here at The Art of Charm we’re staunchly against routine-based ‘game’.  Having routines or developing a social persona to impress people is just like putting on a mask.  It drives a wedge between you and others and makes it MUCH harder for them to find and get to know the real you.  What we teach is how to UN-mask yourself so that your authentic side shows though much more clearly, which is naturally more attractive to others.

As far as a ‘technique’ for you guys to start ‘using’ right away, I’d say the key is to go out and be social with EVERYONE, ALL DAY LONG.  At work, your family, on the train, etc.  That way, when you see someone you’re interested in, you don’t have to “get in state” or try to “turn it on” and fight through the nerves.  It’s just like working out any set of muscles.  You want to go hardest when you’re already warm, not try to go from a nap to a full sprint.  If you stay social all day, you’ll be ready to go at a moment’s notice, namely, when you see someone you’re interested in.

If you could teach a guy three things to become a great seducer, what would it be?

1) Be social all the time.

2) Strive to be your authentic self, always.

3) Leave everyone better than you found them.  In other words, everyone should come away a better person for having crossed your path.

4) Go after your life’s purpose with passion -nothing’s more attractive than a man with ambition, purpose and drive.

Yeah yeah, that’s 4 things, but, as my grandma used to say, “tough kishka”. 

We teach all of this, and more, at The Art of Charm and on our show, PickUp Podcast as well.

Hehe, “four things” kicks “three things” ass! What do you think is most important when it comes to getting a girl attracted to you?

You have to be comfortable in your own skin.  Women can smell incongruence from a mile away.  If you go out with an agenda that says you’re going to “get 10 phone numbers” or “try to get a girl to come home with you”, people can sense it.  It shows through in your behaviours and mindset and comes across as creepy.  If you go out with the intent to have a good time and meet as many people as possible (both guys AND girls), and you simply put yourself out there and then “turn the volume up to 11”, people will naturally be attracted to you.  Be the party, bring the party, and others will join in.

Becoming comfortable with yourself is a process, and won’t happen overnight.  The rewards, of course, are well worth the effort.

Do you think looks is important to attract women?

Of course. Good looks and style are important to women, although women place less emphasis on these factors than men do.  I’m not going to sit here and tell you that looks are irrelevant, because they’re not.  We can make the best of what we’re born with, and, fortunately for us as men, there’s a LOT to work with in terms of charisma and charm that can take us to the next level and help us overcome any perceived disadvantages.

You have one of the most awesome resources for guys who want to learn to be good with women. PickUp Podcast get over 1,000,000 downloads a year. That is sick!  For the people who still haven’t checked this out, what is it all about?

Well, imagine having a mix of experienced mentors (dating coaches, entrepreneurs and other professional badasses) teaching you their expertise, packing decades of research, testing and tough lessons into a concise curriculum.  Basically, with PickUp Podcast, we’ve created one of the premiere men’s lifestyle programs available anywhere, and it’s free. This is the show we wish we had a decade ago.

What’s you favorite book?

“How To Win Friends & Influence People” by Dale Carnegie.  He’s the guy who started it all and all his stuff is amazing.

Ah, I love that book, my favorite too! We’re just about to cross the finish line…! Any last words to the readers?

I strongly suggest you guys get a steady feed of positive mindsets from solid mentors going so that you get pointed in the right direction.  A good place to start is here: http://www.pickuppodcast.com/best

There you’ll find some of the top-rated PickUp Podcast episodes that new guys really love.  From there, move on to the ‘toolbox’ episodes and start applying the stuff right away.

Thanks for having me on here. It’s been a pleasure!

It sure was a pleasure having you here too!

So guys, please leave a comment for Jordan. This is free value!

Next interview will be with a very special guy, called Cosy. Let’s just say the interview is special and leave it with that

Much love, ROCKSTAR