The worlds best opener (Openers part 5/7)

April 18, 2010 // 2 Comments »

Hey guys…

If you read my last post about opinion openers, I’m sure you have been waiting for this one…

Good news, sir! It’s here

Before we go ahead. I just want to say that to focus too much on openers will be counter productive. If you rely on a canned opener to talk to strangers, you’re not where you want to be. But if you are a newbie, it’s genius to start with canned openers since it makes it easier for you to open and may also help you feel less nervous to approach. If you’re not a newbie but love to try new things, this is for you too.

One more thing … an opener will not give you the girl. The way you open is much more important than what you open with. Remember that about 80 percent of communication between two people is nonverbal. Your body language, your facial expressions, eye contact, your voice, how you feel, it’s extremely important to have this in place. Who you are as a person is what ultimately counts. The point with an opener is to give the woman a chance to talk to you. Give her a good first impression.That being said, some openers are better than others, and you get the best canned opener right now …

Are you excited? Motivated?

How about now?

Rockstar presents…:

The Do you know why you suck? opener.

(Inspired by the guy who inventet GM-style, Nathan S.)

ROCKSTAR: Do you know why you suck? (Push – break rapport)

HB: What? No … (You are guaranteed to get her attention, everybody wants to know why someone think they suck)

ROCKSTAR: Now I’ve been over here for five minutes, and you haven’t even said “Hi” once! * Smile * Are you shy or what? (Cocky funny – Pull + Qualifying)

HB: Yes / No / Haha whatever.

From here you can go straight into qualifying. Example:

ROCKSTAR: Other than being extremely shy, are you a nice and interesting person too?

You can be creative with this too. Are there more girls, you can address the entire group: Do you know why you guys suck??! If a girl passes you, you can grab hold of her (dominant=good) and say: Do you know why you suck? You were just about to walk past me without saying “Hello”! Are you shy or what?

Let me tell you why this opener is the world’s best. It is simply because it communicates all the right things. The opener is a push pull. You are a little cocky, but also funny. You’re very confident if you go around expecting everyone to say “hi” to you, even if it’s a joke on your part, and she understands it. Self-confident and fun. You stand out from the crowd and you test her, not vice versa. Done correctly, this opener will give you instant attraction.

Just try it out guys, it’s my favorite for a reason. Just remember to be serious when you deliver the “Do you know why you suck? I have been standing over there for five minutes and you haven’t even said hello!” – line. Then you smile, so she understands you’re not totally serious. Be confident! Follow it up with anything. To introduce yourself is a good start.

Next post in the opener-series will be about situational openers. This post will give you great tools to open situational. And situational openers are the most natural way to start conversations too, i know you like that. And hey, you will also get a little bonus in the end. The moral is; read my next post!

Much love, Fredrik aka Rockstar.

Posted in Attraction, Openers/conversational starters

Openers/Conversational Starters (part 1/7)

March 29, 2010 // 5 Comments »

Hey hey, my fellow cockstars!

You will now get a series of posts about openers( conversational starters). I know I loved to read about openers when I first started out. Like the opener was the most important thing. You could say that it isn’t that important, it’s just an opener. But it is important, because it will influence your first impression. But it is what you make it. A great opener together with the right subcommunication like body language and such can make a women very attracted to you. The wrong opener could make the woman shoot you down ice cold.

As we say over and over again, what you say is not that important, it’s the way you say it. Still, I will give you some of my favorite openers in these posts.

And yes they are great! Of course they are great! You will get all the tools you need to open women right here!

Excited? You should be!

Some people prefer to use canned openers, others like to make them up on the fly.

I’ll give you some of both.

This first post will be about what I call The Natural Opener.

I have done a good deal of interviews with the best Norwegian pick up artists. Lars from a Norwegian pickup company Gode Vibber open women very naturally and that’s why i call it The Natural Opener. This opener is a very low key opener. It’s easy, and might be one of the best ways to open women, cause it’s so genuine and “normal”.

Another great thing about it is that I don’t have to do much work writing this down, just copy paste it right in for you! In Lars own words.

I asked Lars if he had any tips for guys who struggled with their opening game and since he wrote such a great answer I will give you the whole shablang. It’s pure gold.

The Natural Opener
You can open with anything as long as body language, voice, frame and context is good, but to kickstart those who struggle a bit I can dig a little deeper. I have been very active this last year trying to play the social norms to my advantage to minimize the possibilities for rejection, and my experience is that the best way to open, and the best tactic in the initial faze is to make it as easy as possible. “Hi, my name is <name>,” with a smile and to reach out my hand to shake hers. This kind of opener communicates “now we are going to get to know each other”, and is actually quite direct, but at the same time very innocent. A handshake is the official beginning of a conversation, so you “drag” her into a conversation with you. It would be rude of here to reject such an innocent and calibrated approach, and humans don’t like to stand out in a negative way. To further explain the “science” behind this:

A typical “The Game” PUA with 2 minute long openers, card tricks, advanced and time-consuming routines like “The Cube” and others, a way to peacocked style of clothes or other things that make him stand out a lot is more prone to rejections and congruence-test not only because it is socially acceptable for the girl to do it, but it is almost expected that she do it. Humans are, by nature, skeptical to everything that is different, so weirdoes and stand-outs are easy to shoot down and needs a lot of time to feel trust and comfort with. It’s the same with men that are drunk, sleazy, crude, vulgar and escalating way to uncalibrated. Girl are “not allowed” to be loose, or sluts, so no one would react negative if she rejects an stereotypical player or a stereotypical drunk Norwegian out on in a bar. Hun will also feel pressure to herself to reject those kind of people because of social norms and the danger of a slut-stamp.

I myself am a huge fan of a “confident nice guy” approach to girls. Compared to the example above, a guy who “fits in” after the normal standards of society and don’t stand out other then that he is confident and comfortable with the social pressure is harder to reject. To say hi to a girl og reach out your hand confidently, but nice and non-threatening is my favorite approach. Most people, also women, is nice and follow normal courtesy and manners. If she refuses to greet you then not only you, but everybody else, including her, will perceive her as impolite and socially uncalibrated. Its socially unacceptable and goes against all normal courtesy and manner to reject someone who hasn’t done anything “wrong”, someone who hasn’t given her a reason to reject him. You can get a long way by being the least possible “stereotypical pickup guy”. Those who say that most girls are bitchy and get a lot of negative responses are those who open and act in a way that gives the girls permission and reason to be bitchy.

If she shows any signs that she is going to turn around so ask a simple question so that she hears it, she will often feel obliged to answer. If she is about to walk away so talk a bit louder as if you are expecting her to stop and answer/continue the conversation. The questions don’t need to be more complicated then “do you live in the city”, “”are you studying”, “who are you out with” and so on. Normal courtesy and manners dictate that it is rude to interrupt or to walk in the middle of a conversation or a question, and I have noticed a lot of times that this can be exploited to pull them back inn if they are about to walk away. This is the part where strong intention comes in. The one with the strongest intentions will be the winner, that means that if your intention to stop and talk to a girl is stronger then that girls intention to go to the bathroom, to the bar, turn around to her friends and so on, then she will stop and respond to your approach. If I open a girl and she is on her way to leave, she can even tell me to my face that she is going back to her friends table, then I just ignore that sentence and keep on talking with a strong intention to continue the conversation. They stop in their tracks surprisingly often so you can continue, even in the middle of the street, as long as you “behave nicely”, and by that I mean to NOT give her a reason to eject.

This by being “normal” will minimize the chances to be rejected dramatically. I can’t remember the last time I got a negative response to my approach, and I am out every Friday and Saturday night talking to girls. The only things that reject me is bad timing like if she is talking to a friend she haven’t seen for years, if she is difficult positioned like sitting across a table while I am standing(hard to get in contact with), that she has a boyfriend or other external factors that I have no control over whatsoever. Pickup is about to stand out, but you need to stand out in a POSITIVE way, and you don’t need to do much to be considered a better catch than all those drunk monkeys that either throw themselves at the women or don’t even dear to approach them and only stare. By approaching in this way that I have just explained above you will get as much time as possible to show some personality and get her interested enough to keep on talking with you., preferably by getting her attracted to you. This is the best explanation I can make to explain the “be yourself” advice, to make it simple. It is by being your self you will meet women who you like that like you in return.

PS: To be used at getting a good response on your approaches is also the most effective and consistent way to reduce approach anxiety. Lots of good experiences = Used to good responses = Less fear of bad responses.

Ok guys, Lars is extremely reflected, his words are pure gold. I think you can actually bring this post to a goldsmith and get good money for it. If you do though, please give some of the money to Lars and me too. That’s just the fair thing to do you know.

You can read the next post in a couple of days. It’ll be my own Competition Opener.

Yours, Rockstar

Posted in Openers/conversational starters

Does pheromones really work?

March 25, 2010 // 6 Comments »

I don’t really know.

It is really interesting though. I have several friends who says pheromones definitely work and have an huge effect. They buy pheromones on a regular basis. I was very skeptical about it for a long time, blaming it on the placebo effect, cause it’s not very logical, is it?

But then again.

“Attraction is not a choice” – David Deangelo

Have you ever seen the interest a female dog on heat attracts?

A friends dog never ran away from home. Except when a bitch two blocks away were on heat. He would walk around their house restless and horny for hours. Howling and everything. Crazy.

Have you ever tried pheromones for cats? You spray the pheromones on something you want the cat to cuddle with, and what happens? The cat starts to cuddle! It’s crazy, but it works. I have tried this my self.

So one day I decided to try pheromones from a bottle a friend of mine, COCPORN, had. He means it works.  Like crazy! I didn’t go out that day, but my girlfriend Kristine said she got very horny around me. But then again, I usually have that effect on her At least I like to think so…

I believe it works, I really do, BUT I still think you need game to follow up the interest you get from girls. Or else every guy on the planet would get layed when ever he wanted to, with who ever he liked. And we all know that’s not happening. Not unless he’s reading my blog. Haha, I’m kidding. A bit.

Anyway. I have this product now. People say it’s the best pheromones out there. It’s a unique second generation pheromone, even stronger then before.

“Imagine YOU Could Make Women
Feel Instant Sexual Attraction!“

• What if YOU approached a girl and she felt INSTANT CONNECTION with YOU?
• What if she FELT RELAXED around you and TRUSTED YOU?
• What if she was ATTRACTED to YOU for NO LOGICAL reason?
• What if other guys ADMIRED your SUCCESS with women?

Sounds cool right?

Well, this is a product for the lazy guy. Too lazy to approach huh? Haha! Well, try it out.

They are so confident it’ll work that they even pay you back if you can’t get laid in 30 days!

Definetely worth a shot.

Click on the banner and you will find all the info you need. What pheromones is, why it works, reviews and so on. Really interesting.

Icebreaker Pheromone Cologne - $ 37.95 Create attraction & seduce women with this scientifically designed cologne. Icebreaker cologne for men contains powerful mix of 8 human pheromones. It contains powerful sex pheromones to get women attracted and ready to get intimate.

Don’t look at it as a magic pill and stop reading my blog now!

<3 Rockstar

(BTW, I would really love, if you have tried pheromones, that you leave me a comment and tell me about it)

Posted in Attraction, Does pheromones really work?

These are the qualities women get attracted to

March 10, 2010 // 2 Comments »

Welcome friend!

Today, I though I should be nice and give you a little post about attraction.

There are some men who attract more women than others. And it is not because they have more digits in their bank account or because they have thicker and fuller hair than other men, but because they are proud holders of certain qualities women are attracted to.

I will go quickly through each of these qualities, and save the one I think is most important to the end. The day it went up for me how important this particular quality was, was the day I took my game to new heights and were more successful than I had ever been before.

I’ll try to keep this article as short and precise as possible. I want to go through the male qualities that I think is most important when it comes to attraction. There is other factors and qualities than I will mention here, but this is the most important ones.

Acquire these qualities and you will attract women like candy attracts kids.

These qualities are something that subcommunicates through body language and facial expressions as well as through what you say and actively doing.
Should we just jump to it then?

Follow me! Let me lead you through these amazing qualities girls love.

First out is …

* Social intelligence

Yep, this is a nice quality. This is unfortunately not something you can learn that easy by reading a text or hear a speach, but you have to learn it the hard way. Through trial and error by being social. It’s about understanding other people, understand that when you say or do A – B happens. Calibration. Empathy. It is as much about self-understanding as to understand the social game. Are many good examples of lack of self-knowledge in the more or less fantastic show Idol.

Social intelligence is something you learn by being with people, of communicating with other people. Being able to interpret the signals people send out, understand when you have made a fool out of your self and when you have done something right. The ability to read people, understand the emotion that is communicated. Degree of self-knowledge and level of understanding of irony and sarcasm, are two good ways to “measure” social intelligence. Typical features for people with poor social intelligence is precisely the lack of understanding of irony and sarcasm.

* Self-Esteem

Wasn’t exactly a bomb being dropped, was it? Ask any girl about what they like most in a boy and most of them respond self-confidence. Self-confidence is very attractive and one of the most important qualities you need to attract a woman. Without this, you are chanceless. You must believe in yourself, love yourself, for others to believe in you and love you. How can you expect that others believe in you if you do not believe in yourself? Self-confidence is something you have inside, but manifest itselves on the outside, through body language and actions. Self-confidence is about how you think about yourself. Believe in yourself.

Do not compare yourself with others. Find out who you are and what you stand for and trust in yourself, and you’re there. Easier said than done, but this comes with the right attitudes and ways of thinking.

* Social proof / Social Status

This is important. Who do you trust the most, one who is loved by many friends, or one that is out there alone without knowing anyone? If people see that others like you, they will be curious about you and have a positive attitude to you as a starting point. People notice how other people react to you and creates a picture of you on this basis. This is something all people understand more or less consciously. Therefore, we are all so damn afraid of not being liked. Therefore, we care about what others think about us. This effect can created in the venues by being very social and talk to everyone. After a while it looks as if you know the whole night club.

Check out this video about “lording”.

Very powerful to take advantage of this when you’re out sarging. Something that brings me over to Preselection, or being pre-selected by others. A huge part of attraction. Being pre-selected by other women is very attractive. You will get this effect when you are seen with women who like you, smiles at you and such.

Walk around with the ladies on you arm and show off a bit, this will make sets open up like [insert one or another analogy for the things that open up without a shred of resistance]. Are you in a bar with two women who tries to flirt with you, other women assume that you are THE MAN and will be attracted. As simple as that.  This is something I use a lot when I’m out. I open a set, take a women in each arm and wander around in the club to “show off”. When I open the woman I really like later, she will be attracted before I have time to say hello.

* The ability to cope with social pressure

This is alpha and omega. This is what pickup artists working on constantly. When you’re out sarging, social pressure will shoot in from all directions. It’s the feeling you get when someone considers you, judge you, looks at you. It’s about time to forget all about this. It’s about not caring what others think about you. If you get affected by social pressure all the time, it means you’re probably not a confident man. When women shit test you, it is to test you, to see if you are the cool attractive guy you’re claiming to be. The way they do this is by putting you under social pressure. For example, they may ask you to leave as soon as you open up your mouth, or they could ask you whether or not you have a big dick, if you can buy them a drink, watch their jacket and so on. If a girl is able to make you reactive, how the hell can you be strong enough to take care of her in the ugly world we live in? If you’re not affected by social pressure, it means either that you are crazy, or that you are a mentally strong person who knows who he is and not care what others think. You are steady as a rock. Approach anxiety = fear of social pressure. It is important to challenge yourself constantly. Do things you normally would not do. Sing karaoke. Allready singing? Well, sing karaoke sober then. Talk to an audience. Put yourself in the spotlight. Learn to love social pressure. That’s why women like men who stand out, both in a simplified way and socially, because it means they can handle social pressure. If you stand out you will be exposed to social pressures. You should not worry about what others think about you.

Test yourself on this. Jonas, a friend of mine held a spontaneous speech in the Parliament. Another one I know read a porn magazine on the train, quite openly, just to push themselves out of the comfort zone(I’m not saying that you must read porn and provoke people). If you do not do things that you are a little afraid of, you will not develop. Check this out, this is extreme in this area:

You wont develop yourself in your comfort zone. It’s about being comfortable in all settings. Can you do this, you have won. I repeat: Fuck WHAT OTHERS THINK ABOUT YOU.

* The ability to lead

The main feature I would say is the ability to lead. What makes an alpha male in a wolf pack? Who fucks the most in a wolf pack? The alpha male! Be the leader and you get the ladies. Easy. Be the one who takes decisions, be the one with people around you who reacts to what you do. Leading is not just about being the one who makes decisions on a superficial level, there are many ways to lead. I know doormen who pulls women as hell at work, but not otherwise. Why? Several reasons for this, but one of them is that they are leaders when they are at work. People react to them. They have control and take decisions.

Control conversations

Lead conversations. It does not mean you should be the one who speaks all the time or that you should never let others talk about what they want, but be the one who controls the conversation. If you lose control, a great way towin it back is to ask questions. The one who asks questions is in control. Another tip is to soak people into your reality by talking about things you like. Enthusiasm always get the upper hand.

Teach the girl things

Teach the woman something new. This can be something as simple as teaching her thumb war. When you teach something you lead. Find something fun you can teach girls.  Something physical is good, so you can be a little dominant and get the kino(touch) going.

Lead women physically

Drag the girl around with you, show her places, introduce her to people. Take your arm around her shoulder. This is dominant behavior and most women responds positive to this.

Lead yourself

Show that you have control of yourself and your life. A man who can not lead himself can not lead others. Take care of yourself. Know who you are and what you want. This is perhaps the most important about leading yourself. Without this you will struggle to lead others. Who will follow someone who doesn’t know where to go?

Create situations

Be the person who creates things around you. Create hustle and bustle, interesting discussions, laughter and emotions in others. For example, when someone tell you a joke that makes you laugh, they lead your emotions. It’s pretty sexy.

Take responsibility

Take responsibility for everything about the adventure you and the girl have. Women like to say that things just happened. Do not put the responsibility in the hands of the woman.  If you ask the girl to come home with you, you give her the responsibility, which is not good. Just say “Let’s go” instead of asking. That is leading. Now assume that she follows, because you are a leader and leaders are accustomed to people following them. A leader is responsible. Do not put the blame on others, complaine or whine . You are responsible.

———————————————————————————————————————–

Is this qualities of yours? Sit down and write down what you have and what you lack in these areas. Then write down what you can do to improve. The potential lies within you. You can be the man with these qualities. Now it’s not like you must have ALL these qualities to attract the ladies, but to be really good and attract the ideal woman as you probably want to do …you have to become… yes you guessed it –> the ideal man.

Remember, it’s not your body that is the primary tool to attract girls, it’s your brain!

Happy hunting

Posted in Attraction

The Confident Man

March 5, 2010 // 3 Comments »

Hey guys!

Ever heard about the confident man?

You have?

I’ll tell you about him anyway!

This is the man with all the girls around him. He’s the guy all the other guys are trying to impress and get recognition from. It’s something about him that makes other people react to him, that makes other people either want to be him or be with him.

Now how come this guy gets all this attention? Well, because he’s confident. That is one of the big things girls get attracted to – Confidence…

You hear the women say this all the time: I want a confident man!

Confidence comes from positive feedback. Confidence is the knowing of positive outcome or the lack of fear of a negative outcome. If you get burned you will stay away from fire. If you get rewarded (positive feedback) when you do a backflip, you will keep doing it. Right?

You have situational confidence which is confidence in specific situations. Like the pokerplayer who is feeling like a king when he is playing poker or hangs in a casino. Or the bartender who pulls girls when he is working at his own bar, but not when he goes to other bars.

And you have core confidence which is when people feel confident in general. They know and trust themself and know they can learn and do what other people can. If they fail they don’t quit because they know they will accomplish it as long as they don’t give up.

Let me tell you a bit more about our confident man. I love this guy. He is so sure of himself that I trust him too. Either he wants to or not he is a leader. Because people follow confidence. It’s a lot of  security in confidence. And what does women look for? SECURITY! She wants to feel safe with a guy.That doesn’t necessarily mean muscles, it just means a guy who knows what he is doing and has people on his side.

But ok, let’s take a closer look at his behavior:

He talks loud and clear.

He is used to have an audience. People wants to hear what he has to say and he knows it.

His body language is open and relaxed, he takes up room and he has a straight posture, head up high and leans back.

He is comfortable with attention, he wants to be seen and has no reason to hide. He’s used to people coming to him, not the other way around.

He has a smile on his face.

He’s happy. Why shouldn’t he be? The world is good to him, that is at least how he looks at it, that is why he is confident.

He is playful and has a good time

Everybody wants to have fun, and the confident man knows that he can make things fun at all times, because people find confident people funny. He’s so comfortable being himself that he’s not embarrassed over he’s  inner child.

He doesn’t brag or try to impress anyone.

Why should he? Only insecure people do that. He don’t care if people like him or not, he already got everything he need in life. He lives in abundance. He knows he is valuable and doesn’t need other people to validate him.

He doesn’t put girls on a high horse.

I already told you, he doesn’t care. His cup is already full, he has all the girls he need in his life and he know they fart too. They aren’t that special. They should put HIM on the high horse.

He says what he means

HE DON’T CARE WHAT ANYONE THINKS OF HIM! He doesn’t need people to like him.

He has boundaries

He will not let anyone walk over him, he know he can take care of himself, he respect himself and therefore others should too.

He takes action when he wants something

He knows that if he wants something he might as well go get it, because more often than not he will succeed. He might feal the fear when he’s approaching a girl, but he does it anyway. That’s the story of his life; when he feels irrational fear, he does it anyway.

He is not reactive

In his reality everybody that is worth knowing likes him, so why should he react to other people, they react to him. He knows himself, so he don’t care what other people say about him or think about him. Why would he try to get people to understand him? What is the point? That is not his problem.

He likes social pressure

He enjoys to be the center of attention. He gets positive reactions when he is, so instead of being scared of it, he wants it. It’s like he feeds on it.

He leads people and situations

He is used to be followed by others, he is used to people looking up to him and want him to decide the next step.

++

Now why would I write about this amazing man on this blog?

Because I want you to become this man. This man is in you. You just have to let him out.

If you act and behave like a jerk, does that make you a jerk? Yes! You know why? Because you will feel like a jerk and people will treat you like a jerk.

If you act and behave like the confident man, will this principle still apply? YES! Of course. Motion creates emotion.What do you think will happen if you act and behave like the confident man? Women will be attracted to you! For sure!

Fake it till you make it!

Good luck champ!

PS! If you like this article you will probably love this one: How to really like yourself and build self-esteem.

Yours

RoCkStaR! <3

Posted in Attraction, Various tips